Genre
Aussie Slip-Slop / Hip-Hop
- 1 Aussie Battler & the Wicked Biscuit Love Song
Sparks In The Odd Forest
Producer, Lyricist and Musician
Aussie Battler & The Wicked Biscuit Love Song
Lyrics
Got a tail longer than Skippy's, so you gotta stick with me.
Barry is an Aussie battler, his Sheila's been up to mischief.
He searched for a Tassie Tiger, scored a common bogan chicken.
But with looks like his, he terrifies the pigeons.
Barry is an Aussie battler, his Sheila's been up to mischief.
He searched for a Tassie Tiger, scored a common bogan chicken.
But with looks like his, he terrifies the pigeons.
He was joining the rusty budgie club, like every other fella.
And lower than wombat lollies, Sheila bailed at the alter.
She parked her platapus, with a frill neck lizard fella.
A half cut knuckle fucker, bearded pink marshmella.
And lower than wombat lollies, Sheila bailed at the alter.
She parked her platapus, with a frill neck lizard fella.
A half cut knuckle fucker, bearded pink marshmella.
If he was Aussie Man he'd smash him with some cunning banter.
But he's Barry from accounting, with the body of Santa.
Artificial enthusiasm, meant he couldn't smash his sanga.
To drown his sorrows, thought he'd bounce a budgie wrangler.
But he's Barry from accounting, with the body of Santa.
Artificial enthusiasm, meant he couldn't smash his sanga.
To drown his sorrows, thought he'd bounce a budgie wrangler.
Auntie Beryl's got reputation, but shes not Margo Robbie (Margo Robbie).
Offers her services down the pub, but its just a hobby (jobbie jobbie).
Shes a lady of the night, and she knows a trick or two.
But in the stark daylight, well she scared a cock or two.
Offers her services down the pub, but its just a hobby (jobbie jobbie).
Shes a lady of the night, and she knows a trick or two.
But in the stark daylight, well she scared a cock or two.
Barry is a plonk jockey, and proper jelly helmet.
Hes got a wobble on, and bouncing like a rubber mallet.
Theres trouble coming here, like a sparkie with a hammer.
Or if little purple Randy tells jokes with a stammer.
Hes got a wobble on, and bouncing like a rubber mallet.
Theres trouble coming here, like a sparkie with a hammer.
Or if little purple Randy tells jokes with a stammer.
Beryl cant catch a chicken, and she wont mow the lawn.
She's out chasing pineapples, every night til dawn.
I got to charge a redback, if you want that service fella.
I want to buy some biscuits, for my starvin dingo Stella.
She's out chasing pineapples, every night til dawn.
I got to charge a redback, if you want that service fella.
I want to buy some biscuits, for my starvin dingo Stella.
And she says, You cant say no to a biscuit.
You cant say no to a biscuit.
When business ain't bangin, havent eaten in weeks.
My dingo is hunting babies, before her body gets weak.
You cant say no to a biscuit.
When business ain't bangin, havent eaten in weeks.
My dingo is hunting babies, before her body gets weak.
She said you can look son, but dont you get rapey.
Cost you some bikkies, if you really want to take me.
Like a young lad trained, with very good manners.
He said "nice shoes love", before he tried to bang her.
Cost you some bikkies, if you really want to take me.
Like a young lad trained, with very good manners.
He said "nice shoes love", before he tried to bang her.
Same as a frozen spoon, on his waking half a mongrel.
His bolivian wont march, for starvin Auntie Beryl.
Scared brown snake, verse very hungry salty.
He's thinking antechinus mode, but he was being very cocky.
His bolivian wont march, for starvin Auntie Beryl.
Scared brown snake, verse very hungry salty.
He's thinking antechinus mode, but he was being very cocky.
His wizard needed work experience, he thought he'd list it.
Maybe he should of thought, bout banging on a budgie biscuit.
And quicker than chicken lips, this young fella downed.
Dark night bowlo carpark, well the magic was found.
(Dark night bowlo carpark, well the magic was found.
Maybe he should of thought, bout banging on a budgie biscuit.
And quicker than chicken lips, this young fella downed.
Dark night bowlo carpark, well the magic was found.
(Dark night bowlo carpark, well the magic was found.
Barry is a plonk jockey, and proper jelly helmet.
Hes got a wobble on, and bouncing like a rubber mallet.
Theres trouble coming here, like when Nana's on the hammer.
Or if you cop one in the nads, with an ice cold spanner.
Hes got a wobble on, and bouncing like a rubber mallet.
Theres trouble coming here, like when Nana's on the hammer.
Or if you cop one in the nads, with an ice cold spanner.
To wind up this tale, gunna tell you what happened.
Bazza thinks he's in love, and Beryl's earned her salty cracker.
Bazza's done a Bradbury, and hooked a big red snapper.
Happy days, with wicked biscuits, for our lovestruck Aussie Battler.
Bazza thinks he's in love, and Beryl's earned her salty cracker.
Bazza's done a Bradbury, and hooked a big red snapper.
Happy days, with wicked biscuits, for our lovestruck Aussie Battler.
Lets recap
he got humiliated, agitated, intoxicated, anihilated, incapacitated, medicated, violated, maybe even asphyxiated. and resusitated.
he got humiliated, agitated, intoxicated, anihilated, incapacitated, medicated, violated, maybe even asphyxiated. and resusitated.
Lets go again.....
She said you can try son, but it still costs to date me.
Do you 2 for 1, ...........cause you validate me.
And like a young lad drained, and in desperation.
He said "I got 2 disco biscuits,...... and a dollar eighty".
(Come on Aunty Beryl, you know I'm skint)
Ahh hah
who let the Kiwi in,...................ah it's ok they can stay. (they got biscuits)
Ahh hah
who let the Kiwi in,...................ah it's ok they can stay. (they got biscuits)
who let the Kiwi in,...................ah it's ok they can stay. (they got biscuits)
Ahh hah
who let the Kiwi in,...................ah it's ok they can stay. (they got biscuits)
You can't say no to a biscuit, no you can't say no to a biscuit.
When the biscuits are disco, and ain't been loaded for weeks.
Feel a bundy shuffle, comin on in my feet.
When the biscuits are disco, and ain't been loaded for weeks.
Feel a bundy shuffle, comin on in my feet.
You can't say no to a biscuit, no you can't say no to a biscuit.
When the biscuits are disco and ain't been loaded for weeks.
Forget about his Sheila, while he peaks.
He's got a mullet, he's got a skullet, he's got a Nullarbor empty wallet.
Beryl's got bleeding knees.
Hungry Fella?
Could go a double Drop Bear and Cane Toad sanga with Bin Chicken sauce.
Would you like flies with your order.
Well of course...
They got biscuits Ahhh.
Translation for Non-Aussies
Skippy — an Aussie super hero TV Kangaroo famous in the 80's.
Stick with me — keep paying attention or following me.
Aussie Battler — a working class Aussie hero who perseveres despite adversity.
Sheila — an Australian woman, girlfriend or wife.
Tassie Tiger — Tasmanian Tiger (Thylacine) impossible to find, probably extinct.
Scored — ended up with or achieved.
Common Bogan Chicken — a common type of woman.
Joining the Rusty Budgie Club — man getting married.
Fella — Aussie male.
Lower than Wombat Lollies — (wombat testicles), an act of low moral character.
Bailed — to cancel plans or leave..
Parked her platypus — started living somewhere with someone.
Frill neck lizard fella — uncircumcised man.
Half cut knuckle fucker, bearded pink marshmella — A fat, drunken, bearded, serial masturbater who doesn't wear sunscreen.
Aussie Man — YouTube hero known for fine Australian vernacular and commentary.
Smash him — derogatory insults.
Artificial enthusiasm — drugs: cocaine, speed, MDMA.
Sanga — Sandwich
Couldn't smash his sanga — can't eat when high on drugs.
Bounce a budgie wrangler — pay for sex with a prostitute.
Got reputation —A seasoned professional with a great personality, competitive rates, and more runs on the board than the Aussie cricket team.
Margo Robbie —talented, smart, beautiful, Aussie actress, not known for deeds of moral ambiguity.
Pub — local place for socialising, fighting and the service of alcoholic beverages.
Jobbie Jobbie — a verb, noun, or adjective used when you can't think of the word(s) you need. Not really sure, credit my mate Rob J.
Lady of the Night — prostitute.
Scared a cock or two — scares away the men because she is needy or unattractive.
Plonk Jockey — drunkard who likes cheap alcohol.
Jelly Helmet — person who is useless or uncoordinated.
Got a wobble on — upset, drunk, or both.
Bouncing like a rubber mallet — excited, usually when coming up on booze or drugs.
A sparkie with a hammer — an electrician who does not know what he is doing.
Little purple Randy — awesome Australian comedian muppet puppet.
Can't catch a chicken — vegetarian.
Won't mow the lawn — does not shave.
Out chasing pineapples — is at work (pineapple is a yellow Aussie $50 note).
Redback — Aussie $20 note, which is red.
Fella — Aussie male.
You can't say no to a biscuit — you cannot miss an opportunity.
Banging — having sex.
My dingo is hunting babies — I'm hungry. (Bad taste reference to an incident in the 1980's involving a dingo and a baby.)
Rapey — overly enthusiastic touching, getting creepy.
Bikkies — biscuits.
Nice shoes love — a common compliment given before asking for sex. (Good manners)
Bang her — sexual relations with a Sheila.
Frozen spoon — erection killer. Similar effect to grandma porn.
Half a mongrel — halfway into an erection.
His bolivian won't march — can't get an erection due to cocaine consumption.
Scared brown snake — flaccid penis.
Very hungry salty —Sheila who is enthusiastic and ready for sex. Also a salt water crocodile.
Antechinus — legendary Aussie marsupial mouse that at 1 year of age, goes on a 3 week sex frenzy until he dies of starvation. (Bloody Champion)
His wizard needed work experience — he is a virgin or close to it.
He thought he'd list it — put himself on Tinder.
Banging — having sex.
Banging on a Budgie biscuit — using Viagra to aid an erection to have sex.
Quicker than chicken lips — so fast you can't see them.
Fella — Aussie male.
Downed — took a pill, or drank alcohol really fast.
Bowlo — social gathering place for old people and poor youth who like cheap drinks, bowling and pokies (slot machines).
The hammer — heroin.
Nads — short for gonads (testicles).
Bradbury — come from behind to win when not expected to.
Hooked a big red snapper — had a lot of luck.
Earned her salty cracker — earned her pay.
Wicked biscuits — Budgie Biscuits (Viagra) or Disco Biscuits (MDMA / Exstacy).
Hover the recap line for the full translation.
Kiwi — Couzzie Bro from New Zealand, sometimes mistaken for an Aussie in the Northern hemisphere. (They don't like that)
Loaded — drunk or high.
Bundy shuffle — drunk Aussie man trying to dance, or rocking back and forth. (Related to Bunderberg Rum)
Loaded — drunk or high.
Disco Biscuits — exstacy MDMA, ludes..
Peaks — the high point of an exstacy experience.
Drop Bear — is a completely fictional creature a joke Australians tell, to unsettle tourists and foreigners.
Cane Toad — introduced pest species of frog found mostly in the North of Australia regularly flattened as road kill.
Bin Chicken — Australian White Ibis, that eats trash out of Rubbish bins.
No wokeness was involved in the making of this song.
All similarities to real people are true, so their names are changed.
Special thanks to Cheryl and Garry...